Charity - Wk #10

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, it is not puffed up, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never failith: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowlege, it shall vanish away..." (1 Cor. 3: 4, 7-8). 

But charity never faileth. 

Principles, tools, guides, counseling are all great ways to improve your marriage and your relationship with your spouse. 

But no amount of tools and communication skills can improve your marriage, if you do not have charity for your spouse. 

Charity is more than a kind feeling. More than a courteous smile or glance. It's more than even altruism. 

Charity at it's finest was Jesus Christ. His complete and perfect empathy inseparably connected with his perfect love and compassion for each one of us individually. 

"A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; even as I have loved you." (John 13:34). 

That command includes our spouses. 

Charity is far from easy work, which is probably why most of us struggle with it and while all us will never be perfect at it. 

But the closer we come to having and giving charity to others, the more life seems optimistic, because we are choosing to not focus on our partner's poor qualities. 

When I think of charity I think of a spouse who has grown old. Who's hands move slowly, and vocals come deftly. I think of this spouse losing their cognitive abilities. But because of the charity that their spouse feels for them, the decrepit one is taken care of. Loved, bathed, clothed, and nurtured. This spouse serves their failing spouse not because they expect anything out of it - but because they are showing true charity. And they are happy because of it. 

Our spouses deserve more of our charity and our unconditional love that comes with it. Our spouses deserve a forgiving partner who focuses on the good and doesn't dwell on the bad. Our spouses deserve a companion who will love and serve them even when nobody is looking and no praise will ever be rendered. 

Catherine Thomas has said that we have it all turned around that "much of the emotional pain that we have does not come from the love that we were not given in the past, but from the love we ourselves are not giving in the present".

May we focus less on ourselves and choose to give charity to all as Jesus asked of us to do.